Going Further: The Coaching Newsletter

🗣 Laurence‑ism: You Don’t Get Love By Being Important.

What matters more: being important or being loved?

Have we gotten to the point with social media, celebrity, viral moments, reality TV and “likes” that we can even distinguish the difference? We measure engagement against authenticity and hope the two are equipotent.

They. Are. Not.

And because the truth of this false equivalency has been realized by those who believed it to be true, it has left many individuals and teams, famous or otherwise, disappointed, frustrated, and disconnected.

We don’t find love professionally, personally, or in any other form by chasing a feeling of importance. We become important by interacting with our teams, our partners, our families, and the rooms we speak in by leading with love.

When leaders, high performers, romantic partners, and executives are vulnerable, authentic, and focused on how to serve, they become important to every individual and team they interact with. They elevate the connection between everyone in the room.

Last week, after my talk with the leadership team at RBC, someone asked me a question.

They said,

“Laurence, you speak all over the world. You’ve coached Fortune 100 companies and have a signed letter from a former President of the United States. So what made that session feel different?”

It wasn’t the slides.
It wasn’t the framework.
It wasn’t even the stories.

It was the intention.
It was the service.
It was the desire to connect.

For most of our careers, many of us walk into rooms trying to be important.

Trying to prove something.
Trying to sound smart.
Trying to demonstrate value.

But something I’ve learned over time is this:

When you enter a room trying to be important, people feel the performance.

When you enter a room trying to serve, people feel the connection.

So before I walk into any room now, I ask myself one question:

How can I love this room?

How can I serve the people who trusted me enough to invite me here?
How can I respect the time, attention, and energy of the people sitting in front of me?

I promise when that becomes the focus, something…everything…shifts.

I’ve had the pleasure of being in large and small rooms. Interacting with military leaders and elementary school educators. Venture capitalists and ex-cons released from prison trying to start their lives over.

The only way to truly connect with anyone and any team that has given us their time, energy, and attention is to speak authentically, lead with empathy, and serve with the intention of leaving the room a little better than you found it.

My grandfather told me last year,

“Laurence, most people come into this world, sit at the table, eat up all the food, create a mess, and then get up and leave. Be the person who leaves the table better when you get up.”

The only way to do that is to think about how to serve the table, even while you sit at it.

So here’s the paradox:

You don’t receive love by being important.
You become important by giving love.

In a boardroom.
In a relationship.
In leadership.
In life.

Show up to serve.
Lead with love.
The importance will follow.

Go Further. 🚀

🧰 Tools to Go Further: How to Solve ANY Problem in 60 Minutes

Most problems feel bigger than they are because we carry them around in our heads instead of breaking them down.

So here’s a simple framework I use when something feels stuck:

Give the problem 60 focused minutes.

First 10 minutes:
Define the real problem. Most of the time what we think the problem is… isn’t.
Ask yourself: What’s actually broken? What happens if I do nothing?

Next 10 minutes:
Break the issue into parts. Separate what’s in your control from what isn’t.

Next 15 minutes:
Brainstorm solutions. Don’t judge the ideas yet. Just generate options.

Next 15 minutes:
Choose the path that moves things forward. Something practical you can act on.

Final 10 minutes:
Take action. Even a small step creates momentum.

Most problems don’t need more worrying. Worrying is wasted time versus action.
Most problems need structured thinking and one step forward.

Try it the next time something feels stuck. One focused hour will change a lot.

💡 Tips To Go Further: Win The First 10 Mins Of Your Day

Most people check their phone the moment they wake up.
Email. News. Social media. Blah!

Which means the world sets your agenda before you even start your day.

Try this instead:

For the first 10 minutes of your morning, do three things before touching your phone.

• Take a few deep breaths
• Set one intention for the day
• Identify the one thing that would make today a win

It’s simple.

But when you start your day on purpose instead of on reaction, everything that follows tends to go further. 🚀

Go Further 🚀